I wasn’t sure whether I should write this post today, but the times I’ve shared the hardest stuff and been most vulnerable have allowed me to grow the most and learn from others who’ve responded. We don’t talk about the hard stuff cause it’s uncomfortable, taboo, and messy, but really that’s most often the stuff we do need to talk about. So here goes.
Today my divorce was finalized. Amazingly, on the same date I got married 7 years ago – like this whole chapter of my life has perfectly come full circle. Divorce has a certain stigma to it. One of failure, of being unwanted or unloveable. Divorce is something you never wish for or even imagine possible. Divorce is mourning the death of something that meant the most to you, yet feeling like you can’t get full closure because that something is still out there living in the world, moving on, without you. Divorce is learning how to be alone and learning that you, yes you, are wholly and completely enough. Divorce and the heartbreak I’ve experienced over the last few years are things I would never wish upon my worst enemy. Divorce has been painful, a niggling distraction at the back of my mind and a huge reminder of what I’ve lost.
But today, as everything is finalized and papers are signed, here’s also what divorce is. Divorce is a fresh start and a new opportunity. It’s been a chance for me to learn about myself as a single adult for the first time in my life. It’s been a chance for me to chase a dream of living in my favorite city in the world. It’s been a chance for me to make new friends, cry on the shoulders of old ones and figure out who doesn’t make the cut anymore. We never celebrate divorce as a society, but when it means all of the above, we should be celebrating the future it allows – a future that is scary and unknown but full of adventures, friendship, joy and love I haven’t even imagined yet.
So today, I hope you’ll join me in celebrating my new chapter. I can’t wait to explore what’s on the pages ahead of me.